My first interdimensional epic adventure Part one Phantom Gungan in the ass end of space. Well hello there. I'm Fragraham Lincon (frag for short). No It's not my birthname but no one would recognize my real name. My allias is where my reputation lies. First I'll go into my history. I was born on planet Jurai. My mother was a sister of Queen Misaki. I won't say which. my father was a space pirate who was one half earthling and one half Romulan. At the time I didn't know what that was because in my universe the planet Romulus didn't exist. I was about to find out why. When I was old enough to understand it was made clear to me that though I was the 7th crown prince, I din't have a snowballs chance in hell for the throne. I was way behind even Serio (who was more gay than 1920's cony island). So I had two choices either submit myself to a life as an obscure lord, or join in the search for Yosho. I had always wanted to go on some sort of adventure and my tree/ship (Gomisaki) had just matured enough for space flight so I said my goodbyes, took what I needed from the armory, and set off. I had no real intention of following the course laid out for me. Little did I know how far off coarse I would go. (skip one year ahead) My voice echoed ominously over an ailing ships radio. "This is Space pirate Fragraham. Hand over your cargo or suffer my wrath." (corny I know) I could hear their conversation. they obviosly forgot to turn off the radio after my transmition. "There's no way we can give it up. If the wormhole drive were to fall into that maniac's hands" "Drive? that's just what my ship could use. I'm sick of only doing warp 15." stupid stupid stupid! I can't believe I did that. Well anyway I raided the ship and took what I wanted. I later installed the new drive. I was ready to try it out. It didn't seem to fit like a standard warp drive but I made a couple of alterations and got it in. (very stupid) "Lord...(my real name) are you sure about this." said my ship. (yes jurai ships talk) "yes and call me Fragraham." I responded. (I thought Jurai ships were suposed to be smart. seems the one I got was all muscle and no brain. It can't remember my name after an entire year.) "Let's see what this thing can do. set a course for the planet earth." I ordered. The ship began to react. then it powered down. "what happened." I stood up. then the ship powered back up and accellerated throwing me back to the rear of the cockpit. "ow my frekking head!" At first I thought it was the sudden head trauma but as my senses cleared I realized that my surroundings were doing some very bizzare things. The walls began bending and colours were changing. (I canged over to brittish spelling too.) Then everything whent black. When the ship returned to normal I realized that it had crash landed. The atmosphere was m-class. I checked the coordinants but the instruments were all glitched out. When I stepped out to get my bearings I saw before me a vast expanse of desert. Apparently I had landed in the ass end of space. I bent down and ran my hand through the sand (hey I made a rhyme). Just as I did I was nearly decapitated by a low flying vehicle which then crash landed afew metes away. I aproached the craft and from it sprang the most laughable creature I had ever seen. "Hello. Who yousa?" It said. My normal response would have been something like "space pirate Frag. FEAR ME!" But his appearance threw me off gaurd so I just answered "Fragraham and what in the sweet mary mother of motown are you?" "Mesa Jar Jar Binks. Yousa see anybody behind me?" It replied. "No but I just got here. I'm kind of lost myself. What is the name of this plannet?" "This Tatooine. Issa ass end of space mesa thinkin." "You too huh. Look I crash landed here. I've never even heard of this place. Is it outside of the empire?" "Hey whosa tell you about tha empire?" "the Jurai empire of coarse." "Jurai? Never heared of it." "Well then I'v obviosly overshot my mark." by how much I didn't know. Jar Jar escorted me to a small settlement called moss isly. The stench was unbearable. palace life had always been so sterile. I was used to smelling only the scent of fine woods. But afew smells did catch my attention. some rather exotic foods were on sale. But I had to hold off my hunger as I didn't believe anyone took Jurai Yen. In fact my entire Royal status seemed to mean absolutely nothing. But fortunaltely I did have one thing that was valuable in this sort of surrounding. I could kick ass like nobodies business. Thanks to my Jurai training, my nasty repute as a pirate, and let's not discount the massive arsenal of guns and techno weapons I had stowed in my coat. Jar Jar turned around. I looked in the same direction and realized he was looking at a pair of humanoids one a young man with that warrior look about him and the other a boy between ten and twelve years of age. At that point Jar Jar took off. The two gave chase and I obviosly followed as Jar Jar was my only lifeline on this bizzare world. As I again got sight of Jar Jar he jumped and took to the rooftops. On landing he stumbled a bit and his persuers cought up. I knew I had to keep my friend allive so I reached into my utillity belt and hurled a smoke bomb. Unfortunatly it didn't seem to bother the older one at all but luck was with me. The boy did lose his orientation and nearly fell so the older one had to stop and aid his companion long enough for Jar Jar to escape. Eventually I found Jar Jar again. "Would you care to explain what that was all about." I asked. "Yousa got skills. Yousa come wit me okiday." was his rather unhelpful response but I agreed anyway. He led me to a dark bunker. he walked to a table and activated a device. A hollogram popped up. A cloaked figure had a appeared in the projection. "Darth Binks why have you been delayed?" It said. "Sorry mastah. Da Jedi found mesa out." Jar Jar responded. "Who is that with you. I told you to come alone" He said looking at me with a menacing glance. "Hesa sava my life. My hafta bing him." said Jar Jar in my defense. "You there step near the projector." The hooded man ordered. I obeyed. "Yes his force potential is strong." I wondered what this "force" thing was. I wondered if it was anything like my Jurai power. "Yousa lucky. Hesa not gonna kill you." I was wondering by that time if I had taken the wrong side. Just then The two persuers broke in. I staggered back and knocked over the projector. Jar Jar or Darth Binks whatever reached to his belt and drew an unusual weapon. He pressed a button and an enrgy blade allighted on each side. The older persuer allighted a similar but single bladed weapon. A massive battle ensued. Beside me stood the young boy. "so what's up sith this?" I asked "Well the guy your with is called a sith and the other guy is a Jedi. His names Obi Wan." "ah. Let me guess Jedi and sith don't get along well huh?" "Yup" About then Obi Wan slices off Darth Binks' hand. "AAAAAH. Das it! Theysa donna pay mesa 'nuf for dis. MY QUIT!" Darth Binks storms off. Obi Wan and the boy shrug and walk off. I being left in the aftermath upright the projector and conversed with the cloaked man. "Blast. I seem to have the worst luck with apprentices. You there. How would you like to learn a new trade?" Well being traqpped on an allien world I probably needed to learn the local customs. "Ah why not. What harm could it do." Stupid stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!! I can't tell you how stupid that was. Ludicrously stupid. I'm still kicking myself for that one. Well the next few months I trained under Darth sidius in the ways of the sith and learned about this mysterios power called the force. But I never understood why he hated the Jedi so much. Can't we all just get along. Well my new powers began to grow at an astonishing rate. I don't know why. Probably because they were being augmented by my already existing Jurai power. I know I've mentioned it a lot. It eventualy came to the time I was to build my own light saber. Sure I could have gone with the classic one bladed sword type. Especially considering that I had already trained as a swordsman on Jurai, but rather I chose to go big and build a four bladed lightsaber. (If you want to picture it think of Yuffie's weapon from FF7 as a lightsaber. The handeles were about 25% longer than a two bladed lightsaber so I had plenty of room to handle it.) When Darth sidios asked me how I could possibly weild such a thing I answered "VERY carefully." One problem I always had with the sith training was the telekinetic strangle. I always went too low. My master always reprimanding me "Use the force not the shwartz!" But in the end I came to prefer my version. When I had come far enough in my training I was dubbed (no not that kind of dub) Darth Frag. I took up the pure black cloak of the sith and then somehow I felt like more of a man. It was great to Increas my power but I knew I needed more. I decided then to better myself as far as I could. I Intensified my training. At first my master seemed pleased. but as I continued he began to give me this strange look. We drifted apart. I spent most of my time aboard my ship either practicing or making repairs. I knew I should leave soon as Darth Sidius was becoming suspicious. Perhaps he feared that I might become even more powerful. One day I was working on that weird drive that got me here in the first place. Then I heard the intruder alarm. I sensed a presense but it was too weak to be Sidius. Then I knew who it was. From behind I heard the black hearted gungan speak "Mesa thinkin yousa gonna die!" He drew his weapon. I drew mine. "Yowsa dasa big lightsabah!" As we duled we ended up over the main power core. Our weapons whirled like two neon quisenarts. The lightsabers became locked. Binks swung at me with his robot arm. I didn't have a hand free to defend myself. But I Generated a lighthawk sheild to stop his attack. This could only mean one thing. My ship was opperational again. Gomisaki aparently learned afew things as she had never been able to generate lighthawk wings before. From there I hit a button on my utillity belt and utilized my Mecha armor. (something I took from the Jurai armory on Queen Misaki's insistance. I had always been her favorite nephew.) I then proceeded to open up a bucket full of wup ass. I knocked binks into the air and ran over to his landing point and hit him again and repeated it thus playing a one man game of volley ball. When I grew bored I chucked him up one more time and fried him with a barrage of special mecha missiles then allowed his charred corps to fall into the reacter core. My ship then began a take off sequence. seems all it needed was a bit of gungan juice. Once I was in orbit Darth sidius contacted me. "So Darth Frag you defeted my apprentice. You are indeed a true sith. But unfortunately you have become too strong. I cannot allow you to stay here or you will become my match and that could spoil my plans. So I'll send you the way you came and lock you off from this universe. So the weird effects that occured prior to my arrival occured once more and yet again everything went black. When I could see again My ship was docked in a strange new port. My instruments were glitched out. So I had apparently ended up in yet another foreign dimension. There were two guys standing outside my ship. One was kind of short, the other tall and even pastier than me. They didn't seem too happy. "It seems you've been dimension hopping illegaly. You are in the custody of the Dimensional Gaurdian Force." Uh-oh. Looks like I'm in some serios hot water. (to be continued) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well that's enough for now. If you need somethng to do try to find how many times I said the word "ass." Counting the previos sentance.