Sword Of Darkness Part 12: Mega-Pimp Rises Again By: W.Bob Yankovic No one else seems to care about disclaimers. Mac has the Anti-disclaimer, Frag doesn't even attempt, Pikallo tries, but no one can do it quite like me. Anyone from this or any other dimention that is ripped off in this fic can take a long time and ponder about this, I DO NOT FRICKING CARE! I WOULD RATHER WATCH THE CONCEPTION OF JIGGLYBLOCK THAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS FIC! It might take you a while to figure this one out. You don't get it yet? Well stop long enough to read this. Enjoy! "What happened to me?" I asked as I sat on the bridge of my ship. The shear fact that I almost went superhuman ammazed me. I didn't use the Vortex power, or even the Force. It just happened. I felt really weird so I decided to reinact the event. I pulled out one of my reserve chocolate bars. I began to scarf it down and think. "I was thinking about Terra's legs," I said, "then I was going to pull a prank, and eating chocolate, and wanting to kick someone's butt." "I might have a solution," I heard Hogo, my ship, say. I had just got him and his voice made a small atomically sized piece of chocolate fall off my bar. A small bulkhead shot up catching the atom before it hit the ground. "Can I have this?" Hogo asked. "Yeah, go ahead," I said as he absorbed it. This ship was really cool. It thought like me, it talked like me, it even had the same addictions as I did. "What was your idea?" I asked. "Our personalities seem to be partitioned of into four seperate entities. A prakster, a pimp, a fighter, and a chocoholic. Maybe the sudden rush of power from myself and the extreme presence of one emmotion related to a personallity caused you to transform," Hogo explained. "Ok then lets try it again," I said, "Bring up the first picture of Terra you can find that shows alot of well you know what to look for." I turned to the monitor in my chair and a butt naked picture of Terra poped up. I felt strange again like I did before and power rushed through my body. In a flash of smoke and flame I stood up. I looked at myself to find that my clothing had changed from my regular of DGF garb to a tight looking suit with a pair of loose fitting blue paints, a magenta shirt, a green vest and a holster hainging from my waist. I looked over to the monitor and asked for a visual. I noticed a purple hat with a feather on my head and a whole lot of gold chains hanging from my neck. Something told me to pull the sword. I did but instead of a sword there was a cane. "Man, this outfit is tight!" I exclaimed. "Pretty stylish, you look like a pimp," Hogo said. Then it hit me. I was in a superhuman body! I had reached the plateau of my immediate power. I looked at the cane and "The Violater" was written down the side. I knew that Mac, and Frag got a new sword when they changed. I was kinda dissappointed that all I got was a cane who's name with a little bit of thought could be considered perverted. Then the cane sprung to life in my hand, the stem of it changed into a blade and two small hand gaurds popped out the side. "Woah I do have a sword," I said. Something must have malfunctioned but the picture of Terra went away. And with it went my clothing and the Violater. "Hogo, what is up?" I asked. "We have an incomming message," he reported, "switching it to the screne. "Hey, Shane," Ray said, "we have to go down to the planet for a while and need to have you along with us," I didn't really want to go but I figured that it would give me a chance to show off my new toys. "Ok, be right down," I said. I flipped the controls over to manual and coasted down through the atmosphere and came to a soft landing. When I left my ship it assumed human form and walked over. Ray and Mac, along with their trees were standing on a small hill, so I trotted over. "What is up?" I asked. "We have to figure out what we are going to do about MewTwo," Mac said, "he said that we would have to fight some type of battle before him to get to him, and I already know that Vegita is guning for me." "I don't know who or what MewTwo has planned for us, but you can bet your butt that it won't be easy," Ray said. After he completed his sentence Frag came flying up with Gomasaki in trail. "Man, you really pissed off Tsunami," he said to me, "how do you keep doing that?" "It is a God-Given talent, but we have more important things to think about," I answered, "First off I would like to announce that I hit super-human." I saw Mac and Ray's mouth fall open. But when I looked at Frag I almost died laughing. His omnipresent sunglasses had fallen off of his face and laid half opened on the ground. "HOW, WHEN, WHAT, WHY?" was the flood of questions that followed. "I figured out that when I have an extreme emmotion of a specific type I go to what Hogo and I have deduced is one of four possibilities. I have only seen one and don't know how to get the others," I said. I could still see the disbelief on their faces. "So what happened when you got slapped by Terra on my ship?" Mac asked. "I guess I just changed for a split second and then reverted," I guessed. "We will talk about that later," Ray said, "MewTwo is on our tail." "Yeah, Vegita told me after I went super-human and fought him," Mac said. "YOU TOO? Why don't I get informed of any of this?" Frag asked. "Where exactly were you anyway," I said. He just shrugged the question off like I never asked it. "What do we know so far about what he wants?" he queried. You could tell that he had been hit with way to much shocking stuff for one day. "Basically that he wants us to fight someone else before we actually fight him," I said, "beyond that we are lost." "Maybe if you hadn't shot the stupid Pokemon when he sent us the last challenge he would inform us of what he wants," Ray said sarcastiaclly. "Hey, that Dragonite had it coming to him, plus I really needed to kill something," Frag retorted. We all stood around for a few seconds. I don't guess that anyone had anything else to say. "Anyone wanna see MegaPimp?" I asked halfheartedly. "I am guessing that is your super-human form," Frag said, "consiedering that you are almost consumed by thoughts of women kinda gives it away." I sneered at him and asked for the picture of Terra from Hogo. Of course he printed the picture out, he is to much like me not to. I took a long look at it and there it was, the power, it shot through my body and the puff of smoke and flame shot up. When it cleared there I stood in perfect pimp dress. "Man, you do look like a pimp," Ray said. They all looked me over as if they were examining a car at a dealership. "Uh, may I ask, where is your sword?" Frag said. I pulled my cane and he started laughing. Then he caught a look at the golden inscription on the stem of it. "The Violater? Typical Shane," he said. Then I sent the telepathic message and the cane turned into a sword. They all were kinda shocked at it so I reverted back to human form. Then Mac said something really stupid. "Anyone wanna go get some food?" he asked. You could almost cut the stupidity with a knife. Asking the three of us if we wanted food. With out trees in tow we flew over to the nearest town and sat down at a resteraunt table. A few minutes later a waiter walked over and asked our orders. "I'll have the biggest pizza you can make," Frag said. Mac and Ray thought that that was a pretty good idea and ordered the same. When the waiter asked me for my order I simply said "Chocolate, all chocolate." "Sorry sir, some weird guy a few towns over ate the majority of the chocolate on the face of this planet. I am afraid that only royalty can get it now until a new shipment comes in a few weeks from now," he answered. "GIVE ME CHOCOLATE!" I growled in his face as I grabbed him by the shirt. "You can't have any!" the waiter screamed at the top of his lungs. Frag, Mac, and Ray dove under the table fearing the wrath of myself on a chocolate binge. Our trees just stood around watching but were also dragged under the table to safety by their owners. "IIIIIIIIIII WAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTT CCCCHHHOOOCCCCOOOOLLLLAAATTTEEE!!!!!!!!" I screamed. Then the same power that was there when I went to MegaPimp hit me again. I felt the smoke and flame shoot over my body and felt my clothing and hair changed. The waiter passsed out as did all of the other guests at the resteraunt. I looked at myself and saw my skin had changed to a light brown color, a suit of armor and a helmet of pure chocolate adorned my body. And over all I had a really big craving for that brown gold. Hogo went crazy a few seconds later. He ran up to me and shook me saying "YOUR BLOOD IS GONE!" Everyone including myself thought him to be pretty weird looking. "Wait a second," Ray said as he emerged from under the table, "It is true, your blood is chocolate!" I shrugged and waited for an answer. "The waiter said that all of the chocolate on the planet was eaten. So the helmet, armor, and that huge thing on your back must have come from your body, and Hogo screaming that you have no blood supports this." I didn't care about where it came from all I was concerned about was the "big thing" on my back. I reached back, found the latch to it, and brought it out in front. It looked like a, well, a giant gun made of chocolate. "Woah, this is cool," I said. I raised the weapon and fired a blast into the streets. The huge brown energy blast hit a car and turned it into pure chocolate. "YES! This gun is much beter than any sword will ever be!" I screamed as I ran over to the car. Needless to say I consumed the whole thing in under a minute. My craving fed, I changed back to human form. "Well there is the second one," Hogo said, "And why didn't you leave any for me?" I shrugged and flopped down in a chair. You could see the disbelief on Frag's face clean as day. "How do you get to do more than one form? This is unheard of, no one has ever done such things before," he said. "And changing your tree was another thing that just isn't supposed to happen." "Most people have a superhuman form that draws from the emmotions. The only thing I can think of is his emmotions are in perfect balance," Mac said. Then he caught up to with what he said. "He can't be emmotionaly stable, he is a stark raving mad lunatic!" he cried. He then turned and walked off saying that he needed to talk to Ash about Misty again. We all waved him off and sat back down to eat. "So you say that there are possibly two more forms?" Ray asked. "Yeah, to what Hogo and I can figure. I guess that all I have left is my fighter skill and my jester skill, but I don't know what would trigger them," I answered. "I might have an idea," Frag mumbled. "So you are going to help me?" I asked, "You are finally gonna admit that I can go super-human and help me reach my other two personalities?" "It's not because I want to, it's because there might not be any other way to beat MewTwo with out all of us being maxed out," he said. "But how exactly do you plan to get me to transform?" I asked. But before I could ask him anything else he jumped over the table and slapped his hand over my mouth. He whispered something into Ray's ear to which they both got a laugh out of. "Shane, this is gonna be hard but you can't answer this question," Ray said. Then I knew what was coming, I knew how they planned to do it and I knew that they would get a butt kicking after it. "WHO!?" Ray screamed, "WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO!?" I tried to scream out the answer, I tried with all my might but it was to no avail. I began to power up, it was on the tip of my tounge but so was Frag's hand. Finally in a puff of smoke and a flash of flame, I went super-human. I leaped out from under Frag's hand and screamed DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!! at the top of my lungs. As I floated down to the ground I noticed that I was in a totally black armor suit. I mean no decoration, no color, no nothing. "Man that armor sucks," Frag said. I half way agreed. The urge to be very insainly evil and maniacle swept over me. I senced everything, I looked around the room but instead of just walls and windows I saw like an overlay of places to put booby traps and play practical jokes. It was kinda cool. "Hey Frag come here," I said. I looked to his most logical path and saw that with a slight nudge of a table leg with the Force could send him sprawling. The deed was done and as soon as he walked by, BOOM! he hit the floor. I myself fell over laughing, he got really mad, and Ray just shook his head. After about 10 minutes of laughing I finally got up. I looked at my arm and noticed a small green marble had been inplanted into my armor. "TIGHT! Every time I prank someone I get another orb thingy," I said. I was startled with the opening of another portal right beside Hogo. "HOW DARE YOU!" Tsunami screamed, "First you pervert Hogo, then you eat a car of one of the richest men on the planet, then you resort to practical jokes, WHAT IS NEXT?" I noticed that Hogo was taking advantage of his view of her. "And you! You are a disgrace to the whole planet, you help this human, you act like him, you almost are him! Don't forget your heritage!" She screamed. "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look really cute when you are furious?" Hogo asked her. She screamed and entered the portal trying to calm herself down. I ran over and high-fived by tree. "You are my boy!" I said. After Frag and Ray finished eating we all decided to take a well deserved half-day off. Frag said that he was going to go try to see if he could possibly patch things over with Tsunami. He said that I was in pretty deep dung with her. Ray went off somewhere to see if he could trigger his transformation. I just decidced to take a nap. Hogo went to ship mode and I hopped in. We entered orbit around Jurai and I climbed into bed. After what seemed like hours I fell into a deep sleep and a dream came over me. I saw myself just a few years back frantically searching for the controls to the sheild Cordran had around NCC. I saw myself opening a portal in a vast forest and looking for a boy of extreme power for his world. After a while I found him and his floating annoyance in a tree house. I remember asking him why he had a cow in his bedroom. Then I saw myself kicking the little ball of energy into a portal to who knows where. Then I saw the little floating thingy standing beside MewTwo. "I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!" she said. I noticed that she was about 10 feet in diameter. That was a huge increase considering she started at only about four inches. "I AM READY TO KILL YOU!" she said. Then I woke up to alarms blazing. "I am in deep dung alright, and I am gonna need an extention ladder to get out." _______________________________________________________________________ Well I hope that this wasn't to long to enjoy. And don't forget, I still have one more form to got to. Come back later to find out what it is. And if you haven't got the disclaimer yet I will refresh your memory of how JigglyBlock was concieved. It involved BrickBoy, and a Jigglypuff, if you still can't get it go back and find out what happened.