Sword Of Darkness
Episode X:  Shane vs. Navi
By: W.Bob Yankovic



	It is that time of the fic again.  The time when I come out
here and express my feelings on ripping off characters form other
people/organizations/businesses.  Let me put it to you this way.  My
care about ripping off characters is inversly related to my addiction
to the brown gold substance of chocolate.  In other words I DO NOT
CARE!  And if you want to make something out of it round up 40 rolls of
duct tape, a garden hose, and a wild baboon and meet me on top of the
Empire State Building.

	Ray had wooped Siefer, Vegita had surprisingly been beaten by
Mac, Frag had taken care of Shang Tsung, and that left only me.  I
stood in the middle of the arena.  It had almost been destroyed due to
the huge amounts of power that had been unleashed just a few moments
ago.  I do not know how long I stood there but it seemed like a
millenium.  I was the last one.  After my fight we all would face the
epitamy of evil, MewTwo.  He was the one who had put us through these
"trials".  All of the sudden a large portal opened up, and my fears
were confirmed.  Navi.  I had drop-kicked her into an alternate
dimention several years prior when I was looking for Ray with Link.
But something wasn't right.  The Navi that I kicked was only a few
inches in diameter, the one that hovered in front of me was a good ten
feet.
	"Welcome to your funeral, McInnis," she hissed.  A hologram of
MewTwo appeared to the right of Navi.
	"How do you like the surprise?"  he said, "Is it all that you
hoped it would be?"  Then he threw his head back in a maniacle
laughter.
	"You will die soon enough, MewTwo," I said, "This blue ball is
just a speed bump!"  The hologram faded and Navi began to fly around
rapidly.  "Stay still so I can kill you and get it over with!" I
screamed at her.
	"Just try it!" She yelled.  In a flash she was in my face and
firing energy blasts from somewhere in her core.  I managed to dodge
most of them but a few found their mark.  I jumped to the side and
fired back with a few regular energy balls.  To my dismay they just
went through or were absorbed.  "YOU CANNOT HURT ME!  MEWTWO HAS GIVEN
ME POWER!" she rasped at me.  Unfortunatly it looked like I was fixing
to get my butt kicked.  Needless to say I was getting pretty peeved
off.
	"You are really annoying, you know!" I screamed as I fired
successively more powerfull blasts at her.  They all dissapted a few
feet in front of her.  By that time Hogo was standing on the edge of
the arena shouting instructions.  I never really heard what he was
saying, but it sounded like "get really mad."  Thanks to a few energy
blasts to the face from Navi, that was accomplished very quickly.  I
was turning red, my adrenaline was pumping, and my grasp on the Vortex
and the Force was at max.
	"Listen to your pitiful tree!" Navi said, "You aren't doing any
good by yourself!"  That pushed me over the edge.  I felt the power
from my tree grow.  Then I felt the other power, the power from my
actual body kick in.  I felt the flash of smoke and flame and I went
superhuman.  Navi was shocked and almost fell from out of the air.  I
felt really buff.  My dimentional saber had been replaced by a huge
Celtic claymore.  I immediatly named it the Disembowler.  My DGF
uniform had changed into a large breastblate with gauntlets and leg
plates.  I noticed it from Celtic Legend as Arkane's Valor.  My Helm
consisted of Norse-styled horns covered with some type of metal that
glowed a faint yellow.  My hair was the biggest surprise, it was no
longer hair, but a Celtic green flame that reached down to my
shoulders.  MegaFighter was born.
	After Navi regained her composure she screamed, "HOW DID YOU DO
THAT!?"  The answer she recieved was a large blast of green energy.
This one didn't disapate or go through her, it hit her, and really
hard.  She was thrown back to the far wall and made quite a large dent
in it.  Then I was caught off gaurd.  Navi changed form.  The blue aura
around her flicked off and there stood a very beautiful woman.  She was
dressed in a one part semi-trasparent body glove with ivy embroidered
to cover her up.  Use your imagination.
	"Man, she is FINE!" I heard Hogo scream from the side.  I hated
to say it but I was thinking the same thing.  She drew a sword that was
as long as she was tall.
	"You might recognize this as Biggoron's sword, I stole it from
Link a few days after MewTwo brought me back," she explained.  I knew
the physical power of the sword, but had no idea of the magical power
it held.  She charged it with a flame and swung it at me.  The blade
swiped right by me as I dodged to the left.  I swung the Disembowler at
her blind side and made a large gash in her side.  She doubled over in
pain and spit up blood.  "YoU...wIll...NOt...KIlL...mE...So...EaSily!"
she coughed out.  She stood up and held her hands over the wound. To my
surprise it healed and she picked up her sword.
	The next few minutes were comprised of slashing, dodging and
lunging by both of us.  I was slowly gaining ground on her and I could
see that her power was draining.  It was time to finish her off.  I let
my instincts take over and suddenly screamed out "SHAMROCK SHINE!"  I
moved my sword in the form of a shamrock and a large green outline
began to form in the air.  After a few seconds it was very visable.  I
lept into the air, flew back behind the outline and extended my sword
out in front of myself.  Then I flew as fast as I could through the
outilne, my sword acting as a spear head.  When I passed through the
outline, my whole body glowed with power.  A huge explosion follwed
that I guessed would be a sonic boom.  My body was flaming green and
moving straight toward her. And when I hit her the power that I had
collected sent her through the back of the arena and through a few
rooms behind the wall, and out into the sea.  I stood there and waited
for her next attack.
	When she emerged from the water, she looked pretty bad.  One of
her legs appeared broken, she was bleeding from a large laceration on
her forehead, and one of her arms hung limp on her side.  But what I
noticed more than that was her body glove.  It was ripped to shreds and
hung on her body only by a thin strap around her shoulder.   "Y...o..u
h...a...v...e w...o...n," she barely audibly uttered.
	"SWEET MERCIFUL MOSES!" Hogo screamed.  I though that he was
talking about my attack but it seemed that he was talking about Navi.
then I realized what she was wearing and that flash of smoke and flame
shot up again.  This was definatly a case for MegaPimp. After she got
back into the arena she collapsed and it looked as if she was dead.  I
ran over to Navi and looked down on her.
	"Please, help me," she said.  I didn't know why I did it, maybe
it was my testosterone thinking instead of my brain, but I bent over
and put my hand on her forehead.  I reached out in the Force and made
her blood vessels stop bleeding and her skin and flesh cells begin to
multiply rapidly.
	"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Ray screamed.  You could see the
distress of all of my comrads from the sidelines.  I don't know what
made me do it but I probed Navi's mind looking for something.  After a
few seconds I yelled for the guys to come over. When they got there
they almost killed me.
	"Why are you healing her!?" Frag screamed.  Mac was physically
holding Ray back so that he wouldn't kill me.
	"Guys, this isn't Navi, this is an innocent fairy.  MewTwo has
killed the real Navi," I tried to explian.
	"What does that have to do with you healing her?" Mac asked.
	"She is a being of good, she has just been forced to do evil by
MewTwo.  There is no need to kill an innocent being. Plus she looks
really good," I said.
	"I knew that there was an alterior meaning but she tried to
kill you moron!" Frag said.  They really didn't get it.  This was a
regular fairy that had been warped out of character by MewTwo.
	"It doesn't matter, just help me lift her," I said, "Mac find
something to cover her up with."
	"WHAT?! Did he just say for me to cover up a near naked woman?"
Mac asked as he almost fell over.  I gave him a your stupid look and
picked her up. As I walked over to the edge of the arena she began to
regain conciousness.
	"Whaaaat?  Where am I?  Who are you?" She began to ask.  I put
her down on a bench and proped her head up on a pile of clothing
collected by Ray.
	"Hold on, don't try to talk, you just got your @ss kicked,"
Frag said.  I slapped him on the back of the head and leaned down eye
level with the beautiful girl.
	"You are in MewTwo's arena. My name is Shane, this is Ray, the
geek with the Lab coat is Mac, and the one who has the cursing problem
is Frag.  You just tried to kill me," I said slowly enough for her to catch parts of it.
	"Where is Hyrule Castle at?" she asked.  She was out of it. But
guess that anyone who had gone through what she had would have been
also.
	"You are in another dimention, this is Earth Alpha, you were
manipulated by MewTwo to impersonate a fairy named Navi, I was forced
to attack you and you were knocked out," I said.  She just stared up at
me with amethyst crystal eyes.  It was obvious that she was in a state
of shock.  But before she could reply a huge power blast hit me square
inbetween the shoulderblades.  "What the heck?" I asked.  I turned to
see another huge glowing ball of fairy floating in the air.
	"So you beat my little toy I see," the real Navi said.  I guess
that she was kinda ticked off that she actually had to fight me, but
she was definalty not dead.  "Nevertheless, I will destroy you," she
said.  She shot another blast at me, but I ducked under it.  I returned
fire and began to charge her.  She dropped down into human form and
picked up the Biggoron's sword from off the ground.  I reached for my
side but instead of the Disembowler I found the Violater.  I had never
changed back to MegaFighter.
	"Crap, I don't know if I have any powers in this form besides
my pimping skills," I said.  I was either fixing to die or totally
massacre a fairy.  I was hoping for the latter but leaning toward the
prior.  I pulled out the Violater and switched it over to sword mode.
I bum rushed Navi and managed to cut her arm across the bicep.  She let
out a bloodthirsty cry and ran towards me making faster swipes with her
sword than Squall doing Lion Heart.  I managed to block a few of the
swipes but got caught on the kneecap and around my thrid rib.  I
stumbled backwards and fell to my good knee.  I pulled all of the Force
that I could to make the pain in my knee lessen.  Then I looked at my
ribs, they were definatly broken.  "This fairy is kicking my butt," I
said under my breath.
	We battled on for a few minutes until I finally gained enough
ground to blind her with a power blast.  She retaliated with a huge
ball of wind that sent me flying back to the barrier of the arena.
MegaPimp was definatly not a fighting form.  Yet her body would not let
me change back to MegaFighter.  She looked that good.  I knew that if I
didn't do something fast I would be ending up in the Lost Woods being
eaten by some SkullKids.  Don't let their docile appearance fool you,
they are viciouse.  Trust me I have the teeth marks to prove it.  I
began to fiddle with the Violater seeing if it had anymore secrets it
wanted to give up.  "If I only had the Big 'Ol Chocolate Gun," I said.
To my surprise the Violater began to change.  The top hand gard moved
in and the blade turned into a barrel.
	"Does anyone else think that he is going to die?" I heard Frag
say.
	"I got dibs on Navi for the kill," Mac answered.  Then Ray came
through.  He reared back and slapped them both in the back of the head.
I mean like hard.  Frag's sunglasses fell off it was so hard. I knew he
was my friend for something.
	"THOSE D@MN GLASSES HAVE FALLEN OFF TO MANY TIMES!" Frag
yelled.  Then he powered up and blasted them to oblivion.  Now I know
what you are saying, What is Frag without his glasses? Well of course
he reached in his pocket and pulled out another pair.  That and a tube
of Crazy Glue.  You can imagine what came next.
	During this I noticed that my head was getting really hot.  I
took off my hat and noticed that the feather that was stuck in it had
turned gold and was glowing with power.  "Hey, Navi, prepair to be
violated," I said.  I pulled out the feather and loaded it in the
Violater.  I flew up in the air and began to transfer energy into the
projectile.  The end of the Violater became white hot as I powered up
the blast.  By time I had finished you could see the ripples in the
reality of time and space resonating from the muzzle of the Violater.
When I pulled the trigger a huge explosion happened and I screamed out
VIOLATION!  When it fired I was thrown back up into the air and out of
sight of the arena.
	An hour later I came flying back to the arena with travel
stickers stuck all over me reading 'Jupiter Travel Agency' and 'Mars
International Mail'.  As I walked back to where Navi lay I noticed that
there was no Navi.  She had been totally blown up by the blast.  I
walked over to the edge of the arena and looked over the barrier.  No
one was there.  Then a portal opened up and Mac, Frag, and Ray stepped
out.
	"Where did you go?" I said as I attempted to pull a sticker
from Saturn off that place in the middle of your back where you can't
reach.
	"I teleported us all to NCC right before you shot," Ray said,
"Oh, and your boss said that if you ever do that again you are out of a
job."
	"Why?" I asked as Mac walked over and pulled the sticker off
me.
	"You don't know?!" Frag said, "YOU SHOOK NCC!"  I just stood
there unable to speak or move.  I shook NCC?  That is imposible.
Cordran didn't even shake it when he did Death Skull.  The Chosen One
did it when he shot Judgement Star, but before that it was unheard of.
	"No way," I said.  Then I remembered the girl.  "Where is she?"
I asked.
	"We took her back to NCC, Luke has her in a Jedi Healing Trance
as we speak, Hogo is looking over her," Ray said.  Ok that was good, we
would question her after the battle that was fixing to take place.
	"MEWTWO! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Mac screamed.  It was a few minutes
later, but we noticed a light blue ball of fire flying arcoss the sky
coming towards us.
	"Not another Navi!" I said.  But it was none other than MewTwo
himself.
	"You have done well to get this far, I have underestimated your
power.  Since I am a fair being I will allow you twenty-four hours to
prepair yourselves for your death," he said.  When he finished his
sentence he left in a flash of flame before we could speak.
	"Well guys, we have a day to live," Ray said, "If you ever want
ed to do something I would suggest you go for it now."  We all nodded
our heads and I opened a portal.
	"Oh, and I suggest that if you don't want to sleep, that you
pray," I said, " We are going to need all of the help that we can."




	In the next fic you will read of our hero's battle with MewTwo.
The four will be put up against their greatest challenge ever.  Stay
runed to catch the release of the next fic.  Until then happy reading
and a huge pile of chocolate to you.